Helmsmen Conversations
by The Cursed and Torn
Summary: Members of the Normandy crew are curious as to why the Commander always visits their resident pilot before and after every mission. They decide to find out.


**Summary: Members of the Normandy crew are curious as to why the Commander always visits their resident pilot before and after every mission. They decide to find out.**

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><p>Chapter 1: Williams<p>

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><p>"Commander. What do you-oh."<p>

Jeff Moreau, or "Joker" as he was more commonly known and ironically nicknamed as, blinked owlishly at the individual that had decided to invade his personal space and home away from home.

And it wasn't Commander Shepard.

Ashley Williams stood rigidly, hands clasped behind her back, tilting slightly on the balls of her feet, eyes darting everywhere around the Normandy's cockpit but the pilot's seat, pointedly ignoring said man sitting in the mentioned seat, looking at her in surprise and confusion.

Why was she here again?

Her eyes immediately darted towards the dark green gaze of the Normandy's pilot, and felt her resolve harden in an instant.

She stopped fidgeting, hands still clasped behind her back, chocolate brown eyes narrowing into her customary glare as she demanded more then asked, "Why does the Commander keep coming up here?"

After a brief pause, she added uncertainly, "Sir."

She wouldn't admit it, but it felt…weird that Joker, the snarky and more often than not, bad humored and slightly perverted helmsmen was a higher rank then her. Not that he didn't deserve the title in recognition for his skills as a pilot, particularly during his last pickup of herself, the Commander, Tali'Zorah, and the newest member of the crew, Dr. T'Soni, off the volcanic planet Therum, but he sure as hell didn't act like a high ranking Lieutenant. More like a bad tempered, often sarcastic, black humored child, but if that was the case, then she couldn't imagine why the Commander would spend so much time with the man just idly chatting.

And if that were true, which it obviously was if the man's latest joke regarding his latest rescue was to be taken seriously, then there obviously had to be another reason why Commander Jane Shepard, Heroine of Elyusim, First Human Spectre, would want to spend time with him, right?

And it wasn't just her that had these idle thoughts running through her mind. The Commander made it a point to check in with the entire crew whenever she could, coming down to the lower deck to speak with her, Wrex, Tali'Zorah, Valkarian, and going to the second level to talk with LT and the asari scientist T'Soni. That was understandable. They were part of the ground team, and knowing the person who's literally watching your back while being swarmed by a horde of synthetics was probably a good idea.

_But Moreau…_

They all had these thoughts running through their heads, some more so then others. If anyone was truly freaking out about it, for lack of a better phrase, than it was Alenko, though his civil and calm demeanor often belayed that belief, and that was more or less expected due to his…feelings for the Commander.

Besides it's not that she didn't disapprove, or really had any right to tell the Commander what she could or couldn't do with her spare time…but her curiosity needed to be sated. Truthfully, she hadn't wanted to get involved. As she said, it wasn't any of her business, and she trusted that the Commander knew what she was doing and was aware of the fraternization regulations that were in place.

…Not that there was anything going on between the Commander and Joker. And even if there was, it wasn't like it was any of her business! Nope! Though if that were the case, Alenko was going to be heartbroken. Or pissed. Maybe both.

"Uh…Chief? Williams?"

She broke from her thoughts, hoping and praying to god that she didn't look like she was off in dreamland, her thoughts running rapidly and randomly through her mind as they were.

"Sir?"

Joker's face scrunched up slightly in a scowl at the former address.

"Enough of the 'sir' crap. If you're going to talk to me, call me Joker. As ironic as the name is, and as much as I don't resemble a green haired purple suited clown, it's grown on me."

She didn't react really to the last bit, not knowing anything about a purple suited clown of any sort besides the ones at her sister's birthday parties back before she enlisted into the Alliance marines.

"Understood sir."

He scowled again.

"Joker", she quickly amended.

They looked at each other, both unsure of what to say. Joker fiddled with his hat, while Ashley started to lean on the balls of her feet again.

"You asked why the Commander always comes up to me personal hidey hole, right?"

Standing on the bottom of her feet once more, Ashley nodded her head once in response, waiting patiently for his answer.

"Isn't that something you should be asking the Commander herself? You know, face to face, mano a mano, not bugging the man who has to pilot the most state of the art battleship in the Alliance?"

She felt her cheeks warm slightly. True, she should be asking the Commander about this but at the same time, she didn't want to seem invasive.

"Yeah, well, I'm asking you. You're a part of it too Joker."

"Technically, the Commander comes to see me. I really don't leave this chair unless its meal time or I have to take a leak. Not from a lack of trying or anything. Brittle bones and all."

And here came another topic she was uncomfortable being involved with. Joker's Vrolik Syndrome. She couldn't imagine never being able to walk without the support of braces and crutches. To never be able to run outside with her sisters, to have never had those hand to hand sessions she had with her father…

She blinked her eyes owlishly, trying to rid the image of a sourly looking younger Jeff Moreau, glaring outside a classroom window on Acturus Station, watching a group of kids running around playing before leveling his eyes to his legs, tucked safely within the confines of a wheelchair.

"W-well…"

She paused, taking a deep breath, regaining her usually hard ass attitude before leveling Joker her patented, "William's Glare".

"You going to answer or not?"

Joker, in response gave a nervous chuckle, leaning back in his seat as he noticed Ashley's face get closer to his own, glare trying to nail him to the wall, and succeeding.

"Umm…no?"

Her eyes narrowed further, a certain fire building in her that reflected within her chocolate orbs.

"Why?"

If her posture didn't scream out 'And your answer better be good', then the slightly evil looking smirk on her face did.

_Crap. Think fast Joker, think fast…_

"Commander!"

Ashley's face did a one eighty, going from a smile to a frown in seconds.

"Really Joker? Is that the best you could come up with?"

"Joker came up with what now?"

Turning on her heel, Ashley snapped a salute, eyes staring determinedly towards the ceiling, a dark flush spreading from her cheeks to her neck beneath the collar of her regulation Alliance uniform.

"Ma'am!"

Confusion being the prime emotion on her face, Shepard replied with an "At ease" before taking note of her Gunnery Chief's flushed face and Joker's own amused expression.

"Am I missing something here?"

Still staring at the ceiling, Ashley snapped out, "No Ma'am! Permission to be relieved ma'am?"

Still slightly confused, and if nothing else surprised by her fellow marine's slightly unorthodox, if not slightly out of character shouting, raised an eyebrow before saying, "Uh…okay?"

Giving a single stiff nod, Ashley marched towards the stairs leading to the crew deck and mess, pointedly ignoring Alenko's wave before slamming her fist on the elevator button, waiting impatiently for the slow moving piece of crap to arrive.

Stepping inside, and one upping herself by kicking the button this time in her anger and embarrassment, she leaned her head on the cool surface of the elevator door, allowing herself to let her anger go before taking deep calming breathes.

It was after the elevator doors opened and she returned to her station that she realized that in addition to embarrassing herself in front of not only Joker, but the Commander as well, she never got an answer to her question.

"SON OF A-!"

Meanwhile, Shepard, who watched Williams march stiffly towards the stairwell leading to the lower decks turned her head and gave Joker a slightly curious look.

"Now what was that about?"

Joker gave an innocent shrug and smile, turning his head back around to face the Normandy's viewport before saying, "Not a damn clue Commander."

Shepard gave him a look that clearly said, _'I don't believe you'_, but chose to drop it. At least for the present moment anyway.

"Joker, plot a coarse for the Citadel. We need to resupply and refuel. We'll have a discussion about what went on with you and Williams later."

Joker winced slightly at his CO's last sentence. "Do we have to? Can we, oh I don't know, don't and say we did?"

He didn't have to turn around to know that Shepard was giving a cold cocked eyed look at the back of his head. He could feel the ice dipping down his spine down to the hollow bones of his legs.

"Right, didn't think so. Setting a course for the Citadel now. Need anything else Commander?"

"That'll be all."

He also didn't need to turn around to see the victorious smirk crossing the woman's lips. Or the victory pose she was no doubt sprouting, arms folded, and hips cocked to the side, the slight gleam of mischief in her eyes.

"Alright, see ya."

Joker waited until the Commander's footsteps faded away before slumping in his chair.

Relieved as he was at his Commander's lack of questions, if only because he himself was unsure on how to answer them, Joker looked at the flashing lights of FTL travel, wondered what Ashley really did want when she asked him that question.

_Could she possibly…?_

Joker blinked before shaking his head, snickering to himself. Not that wouldn't be the most incredibly hot and arousing thing he'd see, but he didn't think the resident gunnery officer had a thing for their CO. Though maybe if she ever came back up to his little home away from home again, he could ask?

"Nah," he decided aloud. "True or not, she'd probably rip my legs off just for thinking that. And cripple or not, I'm rather attached to my legs."

Still though, perhaps this thought needed to revisited again at a later time? Maybe when the morning crew's shift ended and the evening crew took over?

Joker grinned to himself.

Oh yeah, that thought definitely needed some revisiting.

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><p><strong>-/Author Note/-/**

**Hello one and all. Name is CursedAndTorn (do not ask about the name or so help me I'll have Val'Korris vas Qwuib Qwuib eat you!) This is my first ME story. Or at least pure ME story. I have a few crossover ones in the works if anyone is interested, but that's beside the point.**

**Anyway, when I decided to write this out, there had been a lack of Joker anything fics out here on this site. There were so many pairing stories of Shepard/Thane, Shepard/Garrus, Shepard/Alenko and Shepard/Tali fics out there that it was, (and still is) maddening! If not that, then there are so many focused solely on above mentioned LI's that most forget that there are characters in the series, and aside from my Male and Female Shepards, and their prospective romantic pursuits, Joker is my number one favorite. Why? Because he makes me laugh. That's right, I said it. I find Seth Green hilarious. What, wanna fight about it? Moving on, that so much isn't the case. There is definitely a shortage of Joker anything stories, but it isn't as sparse as it once was previously. I make it a point to talk to him after every mission whenever possible. Then I got to thinking and wondered, 'How does the rest of both the Normandy crews feel about both my Shepards spending so much time with Joker', and came up with this. I'm going to cover the majority of the first game, an interlude before ME2, and then the second game. Maybe even the third game if I feel up to it.**

**Also, Beta for Mass Effect 3 comes out February 14th! Those of you who have a significant other that will accept a copy of the demo as a romantic gesture, are the luckiest S.O.B's on the planet.**

**Anyway, read, review and enjoy.**

**CursedAndTorn, signing off.**


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